How to Remove a Bra | Removing Bra

This first one is hilarious but you need to make sure that you carry out the right expressions with it as well. It is from "Cinderella in New York", of the "fairy Godmother" who is actually a wise old homeless woman.
"Now what's that sound creeping into my old ears? Ah, it's just as I feared, a sound this old gal has heard all too often, knows all too well, in fact. Ain't nothing quite like the lonesome wish of a young, helpless heart. Child, you got a look on your face like you spent the whole day crying tears the size of huckleberries. Am I right? You look like a girl who is crock-full of dreams, and all of them have gotten squished one way or another. And now you, you just don't know what to do. Yes, indeedy, child, I've been watching out for you, little Cinderella Fitzgerald, and why you ask? Well, think of me as your fairy godmother, but without all that magic and witch-craft. I don't need a crystal ball to know that all of your trouble starts with the phrase, "I met a boy." Well, honey, your story is older than the pyramids."
When enacting this monologue, make sure you have a slight southern dialect.

Funny Monologues for Women # 2
Well, this next one is hilarious as well. More so, expression is the key. It is from a play called "Promedy", delivered by a bookish 17 year old, Beatrix.
"That's not true. Young women need the Prom. It's a rite of passage as sacred as getting your driver's license or buying your first bra. There are only a few things in life that are guaranteed to be glorious and memorable and sparkling with gowns and cummerbunds. Prom is the quintessential teenage experience. Think of the unlucky grown-ups and the elderly who lament the day they decided not to go to the Prom. It is a key ingredient to a happy and meaningful life. Prom is short for Promenade, a slow, gentle walk through a shady glen, and this beloved ceremony symbolizes our journey from the shadows of adolescence to the bright sunshine of the adult world with all its freedoms. And it may be the only chance I'll ever have to dance with a boy. Maybe I'll never have someone get down on their knee and offer me a diamond ring. Maybe I'll never walk down the aisle with a smug look of bridal triumph. But it is my right, and the right of every plain, frumpy, book-wormish, soon-to-be librarian, to have one night of Cinderella magic. Even if we have to go with our cousin, or our gay best friend from tap class, we will have a Prom. And you will help me."
One thing, this monologue can be funny but only if you make it. You need to be crafty while delivering it!

Funny Monologues for Women # 3
This one is funny but in a subtle way. It is from a play called "Tomorrow's Wish" about a teenager telling her cousin of her first and only kiss.
"I kissed a boy once. At least I tried. I don't know if it counts if they don't kiss back. But I tried to kiss a boy and it almost worked. Most of the time Grandma and I don't get to see folks much, but we go into town. Sometimes. And Grandma says I just have to be careful to mind my manners, and Grandma says I'm real good at being careful, but sometimes I get so bored in that little town. Only one video store. Only two churches. And the park only has two swings and a pool that never gets filled up anymore. But in our little town there is a boy named Samuel. He's a bag-boy at the grocery store. He does it just right and never squishes the eggs. And he has red hair and green eyes. And' (Laughs at the memory.) freckles all over his face! And Samuel is so nice. So nice to me and Gram. He would always smile and always say "thank you" and "your welcome." If he says, "Have a nice day," then you do. That's how good he is at his job. And I always wanted' I always wanted to be close to him or to talk to him, without Gram around. And one day when Grandma had a really bad cold I got to go to the store all by myself. And I bought some oyster crackers and some medicine. Then I got to watch Samuel all by myself. Watch him do his bag boy job. I just stared and stared, trying to count all of those handsome freckles. Then, he asked if there was anything else I wanted. I just whispered "Yes." (Pauses, closes eyes in remembrance.) And then I grabbed him by the ears and MmmmmmmMM! (Pretends she's grabbing and kissing him.) That was my first kiss. It was the most romantic
moment of my life. Until the manager pulled me off of him."

Be as expressive as possible while delivering this monologue. More so, don't over-express, it could be disastrous.

Funny Monologues for Women # 4
This one is a hilarious rendition of how the operator of Neverland 911 deals with "emergency situations".
"Neverland 911, what's the emergency? You are being kidnapped by pirates? Can you be more specific? Which pirate is kidnapping you? Well, if he's limping on a peg-leg then it's probably Long John Silver, but if he has a hook then it's probably Captain'oh- He's got a hook and a pegleg? Oh dear. Please hold. Neverland 911, what's the emergency? Being harassed by mermaids? How dreadful. Please hold. Neverland 911, how can I help you? Trapped in Skull Cave? The tide is coming in? Oh my! Please hold. Neverland 911, what's your problem? Your rowboat's falling apart? And you're being attacked by a tick-tocking crocodile? Oh you poor dear! Please hold. Neverland 911'Hey Thumbelina! How you doin' girl? He did?! Why, you need to dump that Tom Thumb. Uh-huh? Uh-huh? No, I'm not busy. You tell me all about it!"
Well, I am sure no woman would have a problem enacting this one. So, be as feminine as you can with this one.

Funny Monologues for Women # 5
This one is the last, but definitely, not the least. Its of a snooty librarian, who is ambitious, hates fairy tales and plans to rearrange the library.
"Young man, I am very busy. Would you please take your gawking eyes and your bubble-gum belabored jaws elsewhere? When you return next week, you'll find some significant changes have been made. As the new librarian, I have been placed in charge of reorganization and redistribution. And in the process I am removing a few unnecessary novels. Too much fantasy and folly can spoil a child's mind. This library needs more science and less Dr. Seuss. More history and less Hogwarts. Children need academics and not adventures. One doesn't get into a university by studying unicorns. Take this one for example. "Treasure Island!" It's a loathsome tale of filthy dirty pirates. Certainly not a book for respectable students. And what about this one? "James and the Giant Peach"? Preposterous. Even with modern agricultural techniques, fruit simply cannot grow to that extreme size. Silly, silly stuff. Guaranteed to warp young minds. Now shoo!"
For this one, make sure that the utter disgust for fairy tales is visible while you deliver. More so, don't forget to keep the high class, etiquette-centric and smart look on the face and in the body language at all points f time!Dearest, what do I have in store for you?How I wish I really knew?"HIS" whims and fancies are dumped in my store.They are segregated and dispatched from my floor.It is a happy package for few.Please do not ask me, "why and how".Some may face difficulties, not very soon.But "HE" has kick started them is a bitter boon!Mixed bag is couriered to some.Addition and subtraction of sins and good deeds may answer this 'sum'!I, "THE FUTURE" will hold peace and tranquility for just a handful.One in billions is found to be this blessed soul!!!To read me are astrology and palmistry.Alas! No science or study can solve 'HIS' algebra and geometry.What I hold, none can predict.I, Myself do not know what is stored in each and every packet?!I, the future am just "HIS" mailing office."HIS" orders, I carry out without prejudice.My dear, do not worry about past, present or me.Needles of the clock will 'tick' all the three!!!If you are a working professional, then you know the importance of a good digital watch for ladies. It is a must have accessory in power dressing and there are some great designs and styles that you can choose from. There are many women who would prefer a digital watch to an analogous one. A digital watch is very easy to read and it gives you the exact and precise time. Many designer watch companies that used to make only analogous wrist watches are now offering a wide range of digital watches for girls at highly competitive prices. Here we will discuss some of these girls digital watches and how you can choose the most suitable one according to your style, profession and budget.Granted that not many digital designer watches are to be found for women, there are still some great options for those who like digital watches. One of the best designer digital watches for girls is the Rosendahl Digital Ladies Watch. It has a minimalistic design with polished, hypo-allergenic stainless steel strap. It is an elegant and classy piece that can be paired with a cocktail dress. For those girls who love to dress up and has an obsession with shiny blingy watches, the "A Digi" watch designed by Christian Tse in collaboration with Gourmet is the ultimate bling watch. It has 6.92 carats of diamonds studded across the surface of the circular shaped watch. It is crafted fro stainless steel and is water resistant.If you are looking for digital sports atches for women, one very good watch is the Nike WC0043-608 Women's Triax Swift Sync Digital Watch. It is one of the most stylish and chic digital watches for girls and the soft dual colored baby pink of the watch strap makes it truly ladylike. The watch face has an S curve around the wrist and it has a high glossy finish. It is water resistant and comes with one-touch back lighting.One of the best girls digital watches is Casio's Women's Baby G Digi Square Pink Watch. This watch is modern and sleek in design and is best suited for women who wants classy timepieces that is unique and bold. It comes with a stylish pink translucent resin case and strap which matches the soft pink display. It is water resistant and shock resistant and it has additional features such as a 1/100-second stopwatch with a 60-minute measuring capacity, 12/24-hour formats, a 24-hour countdown timer, multi-function alarm, year/month/date/day display with an auto-calendar till 2039.Another great waterproof digital watches for girls is the Freestyle Lopez World Class Digital Watch. It is a solid stainless steel watch and it comes with a 24 City World Time Function and a Countdown heat timer. It has an alarm, stopwatch, back light display and even night vision. If you are searching for digital watches for women on a budget, then your best bet is to get the Timex 1440 Sports Digital Watch Ladies. Reasonably priced at only $20, this sporty watch has a rugged yet chic appeal. The Timex 1440 Sports Digital Watch for ladies comes in an attractive round silver and sky blue resin case with a matching sky blue cloth strap. It has an Indiglo night light feature, a 24-hour chronograph, two time zones and a 24-hour daily timer.Have you every noticed commercials are directed at women mostly? Have you ever wondered who does all the buying in your home? Women, today as well as women of yesterday have played a very important part in the role of the marketing world. Many markets across the world focus on ladies as the sole consumers, casting them in the hundreds of millions of people who make the decisions concerning all purchases within the family.
Classiness and fashion go hand in hand when it comes to the clothes, shoes, make-up, headdresses and other accessories women promote across the globe it comes down to one final item. Jewelry has been a big fashion statement amongst women of the world. Its seems in more countries overseas the more gold you have the more your family is granted appreciation. Elegant ladies in this market also promote the higher end, higher class of products and accessories. Beside earrings, necklaces and bracelets, women turn to their watches as one of their finer jewelry pieces. These watches are often replica watches, which offer a statement in themselves. Watches have been chosen over other findings in the world of women, because they are simple and easy to wear. Watches say many things about a woman as well, such as what she is doing - sporty, sexy and fashionable. Watches often capture the personality of the woman in a gentle way. Replica watches were created for those individuals who are unable to afford the high end watches. These watches are readily available in the luxurious fashions of the high end watches, with very detailed faces, crystals and bands, there is no telling what style may grab you, but you will know that your watch looks very classy and very upscale. Wrist watches for ladies are a good match with other accessories as well. She can wear them to work or even to a party at night. Replica watches have a certain preciseness about them, they are dependable just like any other watch and highly sought out by many people. You will be in the center of attention with a grand watch, people will ask where you found the one you are wearing and all that jazz!Comparing with men's watches, ladies watches are usually more or less distinguished by the band, which can be a leather strap, stretch band or solid band. Watch straps can be more refined, decorated in a fancy way or embroidered. Many women can even choose a more elegant bracelet style that may be designed into the body of the watch. There are a ton of ideas wrapped around the world of replica watches, in the end the woman doing the choosing will be most pleased. Replica watches are very different than any other watch you may own. Top end companies tend to produce other companies with similar traits of the first company at a more affordable price. No matter the reason behind your purchases, women often find elegance in the simplest of items, including watches.<!-- From http://www.buzzle.com/articles/replica-watches.html --> <!-- google_ad_section_end --> The technological advancement that we have undergone over the last couple of decades has benefited each and every industry, and the gaming industry is no exception. The seventh generation gaming consoles launched by pioneers of the gaming arena - Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft, have so much to offer without causing much harm to your wallet. While Nintendo Wii games console is a respected name in the world of gaming, it faces tough competition from its counterparts - the Microsoft Xbox 360 and Sony PlayStation 3. In a bid to get an upper hand over these rivals, Nintendo has slashed Wii prices and added to its features, thus making it more sleek and desirable. Add to it the fact that there are several sources from where you can get the best Wii console deals, and the urge to own this console gets even stronger.The fact that Nintendo has sold as many as 73.97 million Wii consoles all over the world in the last five years, and this very fact highlights the popularity of this gaming console. At $199, Nintendo Wii still seems to be out of reach for many people, and this has prompted these people to try and find out various options of buying this console at the cheapest price possible. If you are willing to spend some time researching, you will come across quite a few sources from where you can get the best possible Wii console deals.Check Online Shopping Websites Online shopping, aka e-shopping, has become quite popular over the last few years. You get everything on these websites dedicated to shopping, including a wide range of gaming consoles and games. It also saves you the trouble of being present in person on the shop, as you pay with electronic money and the product is delivered at home. This is one of the best place to look out for a cheap Wii console as well as cheap Nintendo Wii games. Most of these websites facilitate online auctioning, which is again an advantage as the price starts from very less and gradually rise as someone bids on it. If you are opting for this method, don't forget to look out for discounts on credit card or debit card you use.Go for Nintendo Bundle Deals are on a lookout for the cheapest Nintendo Wii console, you should try and go for a Nintendo Wii bundle deal. It is basically a set which includes Nintendo Wii and some of the best Wii games absolutely free. It's a well known fact that these Wii games cost quite a fortune, and getting them free with the console would invariably mean that you would save a significant amount of money which you would otherwise spend on buying them.Watch Out for Special Discount Offers Several electronic stores come up with special discount offers and schemes, wherein you are more likely to comes across some of the cheapest Wii console deals ever seen. You just need to be on a watch for anniversary sale, festive season offers or stock clearance sale, as these are the stores wherein you will get the best possible Wii console deals. Before you buy Nintendo Wii, you should check it properly as the chances people selling compromised Wii units in pretext of cheap Wii deals cannot be ruled out.If you feel that none of these Wii console deals are impressive enough, you always have the option of going for a used Wii console. Most of the gaming fans out there would sell their existing consoles in order to upgrade to something better. With quite a few new video game consoles, including Nintendo Wii 2 in the pipeline, many people would be looking forward to sell their existing Wii console and going for a better one. That being said, you just need to be on the lookout for some such person, and buy a Nintendo Wii console from him.<!-- From http://www.buzzle.com/articles/wii-console-deals.html --> <!-- google_ad_section_end --> Nintendo is a multinational company based in Kyoto, Japan. It was established for the production of handmade Hanafuda deck of cards used to play different card games. Who founded Nintendo? Fusajiro Yamauchi started a business under the name, 'Nintendo Koppai' in 1889, which was later to become one of the most famous names on the global business scenario. His company started with the production of decks of 48 cards. The cards were manufactured from the bark of mulberry trees. The company began selling the cards in two shops, one located in Osaka and the other in Kyoto. Here is an overview of the history behind the making of this successful Japanese company, Nintendo.History of Nintendo Following the establishment of Nintendo in late 1889, it gained quick success. The increasing demand of the playing cards made Fusajiro hire more people and expand his business. Fusajiro did not have a son and hence there was no one to look after his company after him. This led Fusajiro to decide to adopt his son-in-law, Sekiryo Kaneda. In 1929, Fusajiro retired and his son-in-law took over the company. In 1947, Sekiryo founded Marufuku Company Ltd., which would distribute the Hanafuda cards along with other brands of cards that had become a part of Nintendo. Coincidently, even Sekiryo did not have a son and that made him adopt his son-in-law to look after Marufuku. However, his son-in-law did not preside the company after Sekiryo's retirement, Rather, it was Sekiryo's grandson, Hiroshi who got the opportunity to join the company as President. Following Sekiryo's death in 1949, Hiroshi took over Nintendo.
Under the presidency of Hiroshi, Nintendo became Nintendo Playing Cards Company Limited and Marufuku was renamed as Nintendo Karuta Company. Soon Nintendo made record sales and began to dominate the playing cards' market. It also became the first Japanese company to manufacture playing cards out of plastic. In 1959, Nintendo went ahead to make a deal with Disney to have Disney characters on Nintendo's playing cards, thus giving them a brand new look. Soon, Nintendo playing cards achieved a sale of 60,000 card decks in a single year. In 1963, Hiroshi renamed the Nintendo Playing Card Company to Nintendo Company Limited, probably with intent to imply that it would not be limiting itself to playing cards and that it would soon enter other business domains. And so it did.Nintendo ventured into the toy-making business, which was a success. Nintendo also set up a taxi company, a food company and a chain of short-stay hotels, known by the name 'love hotel' chain. These experiments of Nintendo failed, while the toy-making business managed to survive. The toy-making company saw success in late 1970s, with the release of 'The Ultra Hand', an extending arm toy designed by Gunpei Yokoi, a maintenance engineer working at Nintendo. Hiroshi identified the talent in Yokoi and soon transferred him to product development. Yokoi proved to be a creative engineer. He soon came up with innovative products like a baseball throwing machine, a love tester and the famous Ten Billion Barrel puzzle. Nintendo soon began developing its own video games. The year 1983 witnessed the release of Nintendo's Famicom, a family computer system in Japan. It was a huge success in Japan. In 1985, Nintendo released the Famicom worldwide under the name, the Nintendo Entertainment System. It was test marketed in New York in 1985 and in Los Angeles in 1986. In 1990, Nintendo came up with Super Mario Bros, which was a major success. In the decade that followed, Nintendo witnessed a mix of both successes and failures. Some of their projects gained popularity, while there were others, which were criticized.In 2001, Nintendo came up with a home video game console known as Wii. Here is an overview of some of the best Wii games. In 2002, Hiroshi Yamauchi resigned from the post of President. Satoru Iwata, a major in computer science succeeded him. In collaboration with Dr. Wei Yen, a Chinese-American scientist, Nintendo founded iQue. It distributed official Nintendo consoles and games in China. With new releases like Wii, Nintendo DS and the Nintendo GameCube, the company earned international reputation. It continues to be one of the biggest names in the computer and video game industry.<!-- From http://www.buzzle.com/articles/history-of-nintendo.html --> <!-- google_ad_section_end -->

About the Author:
http://www.removingbra.blogspot.com/2010/09/how-to-remove-bra.html

Author: vishalamitanil